Baa Baa Black Sheep
by sammyiammy
Summary: Louis has never been the most popular amongst his cousins. It never really affected him. However, when he chooses to mess with the wrong set of siblings, he's hit with a whole lot of consequences in a very short period of time. Completely nextgen.


"_I love all you guys. Except you Louis, I can't fucking stand you."_

* * *

Every family has a black sheep. For the Weasleys, that sheep was none other than the youngest in the family, Louis. To anyone outside he seemed extremely likable. To any female, at least. He was attractive and charming, with a penchant for saying just what they wanted to hear. At sixteen he'd snogged almost every girl at Hogwarts that wasn't related to him, especially those that had boyfriends. And he wondered why he had dangerously few male friends. It didn't bother him much, though, as he was too caught up in his own narcissistic rampage through the female population of Great Britain.

His cousins hated every bone in his body. Even Dominique, his own sister, preferred not to speak with him any more than necessary. Louis was used to the negativity and so he thrived.

Most of the adults in the family didn't see it. Constantly singing his praises, they either didn't notice his superiority complex and womanizing take on life or chose to overlook it. Ginny - and, by proxy, Harry - seemed to be the only one who had caught onto his act. One Easter dinner, she leaned over to Lily and whispered, "You three are right. He is a tosser."

The Potter children and all of their younger relations weren't exactly quiet about their raging dislike of Louis. Whenever he had deigned it necessary to grace them with his presence at school, he had been greeted with a, "Go away, Louis." Teddy had been known to turn blond and imitate him while he was speaking. Dominique generally warded her room against his entry. Roxanne once dumped itching powder into his pants drawer. All the while, Louis contented himself with girls, liquor, and the occasional visit to the brothel. Though he would never admit it, that had only happened once, but he had always meant to take a return trip in secret and so counted it as several times.

The whole Louis vs. his family thing came to a head on Christmas.

He sat amidst a veritable mountain of torn wrapping paper, going about opening his presents with an almost maddening slowness. Uncle Percy had long ago abandoned his attempts at making everyone fold their discarded wrappings into neat parcels and dispose of them in the bin he'd so graciously provided. A good majority of the family was scattered throughout the Burrow, but five were sticking the gift opening out. James and Lily shared a large armchair, the latter with her head on the former's shoulder, toying with an enchanted sloth she'd gotten from her aunt Audrey. Albus sat on the floor next to his siblings, having long since given up on complaining his way into a real seat. Almost hidden beneath the tree was Hugo, his deep breathing audible from across the room, along with Molly, wrapped in the hand-knitted blanket Grandmum Weasley had made her. It was quite likely that they were asleep.

Louis tore back the paper on one of his last presents. A card fell out from its place against the box, fluttering into his lap. It informed him that the gift was from all three of the Potter siblings. He rolled his eyes and opened the box, making a great show of his distaste. The last joint gift he'd received from the trio had been two pairs of socks, one pink and woollen and the other knee-length and argyle.

Inside the polka-dot box were three things: a bar of lye soap, a pamphlet entitled "How to Start a Real Relationship Today," and a Bible. A familiar mix of disgust and contempt welled up inside of him. Shooting a withering stare at his dark-haired cousins, Louis announced, "You three are the biggest wastes of space I have ever had the misfortune of meeting."

The reaction was textbook. James barely raised an eyebrow. "If you say so, kid."

"If I were to be totally honest," said Louis, placing the disappointment along with the rest of his haul, "I would say that it's a shame your mother was stupid enough to carry any of you to full term."

Like a sleeping man doused in icy water, Albus sat bolt upright. Lily tensed against James, who narrowed his eyes and said sharply, "What was that, you miserable fucking prick?"

Louis stood up slowly, fastidiously removing any traces of tape from his hands. "I said the world would be better off if your mother had performed three coat hanger abortions."

The chair creaked, not made to handle the white-knuckle grip James had on both arms. Lily swung her legs around and sat on the edge of the seatcushion, glaring at the handsome boy like she would like nothing better than to rip his tongue out with her bare hands. With a rare edge in her voice, she said, "If you open your mouth again I will kill you and have absolutely no regrets when I get shipped off to Azkaban for a life sentence."

"You may be the single most obnoxious person in the world," said Louis. It brought them back to their normal routine, but he said it with an awful lot of confidence for a person who'd just been threatened with murder. "I'm not sure how you managed to muster up so many friends, but I have my theories. Most of them are grounded in the stories I've heard that paint you as quite the little slag."

Within the blink of an eye, James was up and out of his seat, wand out of his pocket and pointed between Louis's eyes. In a turn of events that no one would have bet on, Albus beat him to action. Moving with more speed than he had ever exhibited, Albus took off towards Louis, covering the distance in a stride and a half. His fist slammed into Louis's nose, the impact punctuated with a yell of something along the lines of "filthy wanker." The taller boy hit the ground, crumpling into a pile of ribbons and tinsel. He wasn't exactly built for a fight.

Neither was Albus, it seemed. He shook out his hand, a look of comical shock on his face. Turning to face his now stunned brother and sister, he said, "Why did I do that? That _hurt_. Like a bitch."

For a moment no one was capable of speech. Albust stared forlornly at his hand, searching for broken bones. Finally, Lily broke the silence with, "I officially like you more than Fabio." And, with that brought into the open, she pulled him into a tight hug. James quickly followed suit.

It was strange for them all to be embracing. Usually they showed affection by arguing less than normal at meals. Clearly, Albus wasn't comfortable with it, as he was twisting and turning and trying fruitlessly to escape. Face squashed against James' chest and armpit, he whined, "Jesus, you guys. You _guys_, I can't _breathe."_ James ruffled Albus's hair and tightened his hold.

A loud groan punctuated with some very colourful swearing came from the direction of the floor and separated them. Blood pooling in the hollow above his lip, Louis lied on the shag carpet, looking faint. Faintly pissed off, as well. He began to say something in a decidedly venomous tone, but James cut him off. "Looks like you found a use for your new soap."

The commotion had drawn a number of the nearby Weasleys into the room. Fleur rushed to Louis's side, crouching down to tenderly clean the blood from around his mouth with the corner of her apron. It new and snowy white, but that didn't seem to concern her in the least. Pretty brow furrowed with concern, she asked, "What 'appened?"

Still not entirely sure that he himself believed it, Louis said incredulously, "Albus hit me."

Jumping to his younger brother's defense, James said loudly, "Louis called her a sl..." He thought better of using the word in front of his grandmum, who was looking on with the glower he had come to fear, and corrected himself. "He called her cheap. Among other things."

"In that case," Fleur stood back up, face suddenly drawn with disapproval. She pulled Louis upright with both hands. "You should try to get up. You are sitting on someone else's Christmas gifts."

The room went silent. Victorious smiles spread across Lily and James' faces. One would have appeared on Al's face as well, were he not still examining his hand and wrist with great horror. Ginny caught Fleur's eye, tilting her head as if to ask, "What the hell was that?" Fleur shrugged. Louis may have been a mama's boy through and through, often getting whatever he wanted from her, but she wasn't stupid. It was difficult for him to lie to her and she had long since caught on to the way he treated his cousins. She had also noticed the false sincerity in his voice and face when he was speaking with his aunts and uncles. It took an idiot not to realise that if he had spurred _Albus_ to violence, he must have done something far worse than normal.

Besides, she thought, he'd live.

**I've been really productive this last week. I blame the plot bunnies. These kids are JK Rowlings, I just borrow them for my own amusement. Thanks for reading!**


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